You're Perfect Lovi
by HetaliaAndSpamanoFangirl
Summary: Lovnio has always self-harmed, ever since high-school, and even after all these years, its still hard to stop. Antonio is his boyfriend, and loves him and his scars. But what happens when he gets home and sees his boyfriend sobbing? What happened and what will he do to get Lovnio to understand how perfect he is? When will I have good summaries? Rated for language and self-harm.


**AN: hey guys, I'm back! So yes this is another Spamano one-shot, but I couldn't help it. I was listening to Perfect by Pink, and I thought that this song was awesome for this couple! So, this contains self-harm, and if this triggers you, read with caution or just don't read it at all! I won't be offended. Also, I don't own anything except for my OC Brandon, who you will see later in the chapter. So without further ado, here it is!**

Antonio was in his car, driving back to the apartment he and his boyfriend, Lovino shared. Ah Lovino, he swore to all of his friends that he was an angel! Even though he cussed out every man he met. He looked like an angel too, with dark, auburn hair, hazel eyes, and a curl on the right side of his head that seemed to defy gravity. Lovino, the man who Antonio's world revolved around. He could, and never will understand why everyone thought his brother, Feliciano, was so special. Feliciano looked like his brother so much that people sometimes mistook them for twins. But his hair was a couple of shades lighter, and had golden brown eyes, that stayed shut most of the tome for some reason. He also had a curl, but it was on the left, but was a bit lower, and also managed to hate gravity. But his personality was the complete opposite of his brother. He was happy, cheerful, nice, and kind of a wimp in Antonio's opinion. But, he was also kind of, boring to say the least to the Spaniard.

All he talked about was pasta, art, his boyfriend Ludwig…and yep, that was pretty much it. Lovino however, had more depth to him. Antonio was always so sure of his boyfriend's emotions and actions, and then BAM something surprises him. It never got boring with Lovino, it was like a never ending fun maze. The only thing that broke Antonio's heart about the feisty Italian, were his insecurities. Antonio couldn't understand it, his boyfriend was handsome, adorable, smart, funny, sweet (when he wanted to be) and just…..perfect.

Unfortunately, those insecurities got to Lovino in high-school. He was already being bullied, and something inside him just, broke. Antonio has seen the scars that are everywhere on his body. Currently, the Spaniard was 24, while Lovino being 20. They had met while Lovino was in his senior year at the age of 17, while Antonio was in his second year of college. Out of all places, they had met at an Italian restaurant Lovnio still worked at. He was the cute, blushing waiter (as Antonio would say) while Antonio was the customer waiting to be served. By the end of the meal, he had made the Italian blush more times than he could count, and Lovnio had a new number in his phone. From then on, Antonio visited the restaurant every day, and they became good friends. Eventually, after six months, it turned into love. Around that time, Antonio started to notice these scratch-like marks on his boyfriend's arms. Now, Lovnio always wore jackets, or long-sleeved shirts, but he still noticed them sometimes. Mostly it was when Lovnio would come to his house to spend the night, and get away from his judgmental grandfather. They would sleep together on the couch, or the bed, and Antonio would lift up his sleeves and tear-up. It was painful to watch his boyfriend go through that kind of pain, and know that he couldn't do anything about it.

He had to wait until their one year anniversary for Lovino to show him. He had to wait because he couldn't just say that he had seen the scars, it would drive Lovnio away. So many things happened that night. They had told each other their feelings of love, and the Italian showed his boyfriend the scars on his arms. Antonio had thought, and still thought, that they were sad, but beautiful. With Lovino's permission, he saw all of them. The thin, slightly raised scars on his thighs and shoulders, the bite-marks all over his legs down to his ankles, and finally, the scratch-marks on his arms and stomach. They had both cried, Antonio out of sadness for his love and all that he had gone through, and Lovino out of relief, knowing that he was accepted and loved.

Antonio sighed sadly, as he pulled into the parking lot, breaking out of his memories. He got out of his car, and walked through the double doors of the apartment complex. He was almost at the elevators, when a voice with a thick American accent said from the right "Hey dude! How's it goin?" Antonio looked over to see his and Lovino's good friend, Alfred. He had blonde hair, with a cowlick, and sky-blue eyes hidden behind glasses. He could always be seen eating (in fact, he was eating a hamburger right now) and always had a smile to share with the world. When Antonio asked him when they first met, what he wanted to do with his life, he had said "It would be awesome if I could be a hero! I really want to help people." So here he was, the manager of the entire apartment complex, he told Antonio that he liked his job, since he got to help people get off the streets. He was a good manager, and really wasn't that strict when it came to rent.

The Spaniard laughed at Alfred's eagerness. "Not much, just gonna go take a siesta with my lovi!" Alfred frowned at his name being mentioned, and though for a moment before saying "Hey, speaking of Lovnio, is he okay? I haven't heard from him all day, and you know that's weird man. He always comes down stairs to complain to me, or I can hear him cursing from your apartment." Antonio grew worried, and frowned, thinking the worst. They were still working on Lovino's self-harm, after all these years. But unfortunately, these things don't go away with a snap. "Really, are you sure Alfred?" Alfred nodded, growing worried as well. He was aware of the self-harm, due to being their close friend for years, and was very protective of Lovino. "Yeah man, I'm sure. I got to get back and do some paper work, but make sure he's okay, alright?" Antonio nodded, and went to the elevator doors, pressing the 'up' button. "Okay, thanks amigo, I will." They shared a last, worried glance, before Antonio jumped into the elevator, and Alfred went to his office.

Antonio pushed the button for level four, and bit his lip in anticipation. The doors closed, and the elevator started to go up. The Spaniard sighed in relief when the doors opened, and ran to their apartment number, 4B. He got out his keys, unlocked the door, and steppe inside. He felt his stomach drop at not hearing or seeing Lovnio anywhere. Antonio walked past the living room, and kitchen towards their bedroom. He opened the door, and felt his heart break into a million pieces at the sight he was met with.

Here was the love of his life, his fallen angel, sobbing on their bed. His arms were all bloody, and scratched up, and he was hanging onto a picture of himself and Lovnio for dear life. Antonio swallowed the lump of guilt in his throat, and ran over to Lovnio. He sat on the bed and sighed sadly, making Lovino look up at him. "C'mon Lovi, let's get you cleaned up okay?' Antonio said, trying and kind of succeeding, at a smile. Lovino's eyes flashed with guilt, and he looked back down, saying "Brandon got my number, the jack-ass, and called. I lost my shit, and had a panic attack. I couldn't last more than three fucking months."

It was true, Lovino had lasted a good while, without scratching, cutting, or biting. He did however, use a rubber band and wore it all the time in case something like this happened. But it wasn't enough, hearing that deep voice again made him loose control. In high-school, Brandon had been the cause of his self-harm, depression, and anxiety. Along with a judgmental grandfather who loved Feliciano more, and BAM you have a fucked up depressed kid. In Lovnio's words anyway.

He and Lovino were good friends for years actually, until the Italian fell for him, and confessed. However, unknown to him, Brandon was extremely homophobic, so you can guess what happened. Lovino confessed, and ended up with a broken heart and no friends. Brandon never talked to him again, and instead bullied him with insults and punches all throughout high-school. At least, until Antonio came along at the end of his senior year and beat the shit out of him. Apperently, Brandon hadn't learned his lesson, and decided to contact him after these few years.

So when Brandon called, it triggered Lovino, and he hung up, grabbing a razor blade from the bathroom, and four cuts on each arm. Antonio's eyes went from emerald to a dark forest green when Lovnio mentioned Brandon. He clenched his hands in anger, and took some deep breaths to calm himself down. 'I'll take care of him later, right now I need to help Lovi' he thought before helping Lovnio stand, "We'll talk about that later, let's just get those arms wrapped up, si?" Antonio said, smiling down at his broken angel. 'How can he just be so damn happy like that? How can he still love me and smile at a time like this?' Lovino thought as they walked into the bathroom. Antonio got out the bandages, while Lovnio sat down on the counter, and held out his arms. He started to clean his boyfriend's cuts, the Italian wincing all the while. Antonio's eyes held an apologetic look, as he continued to clean his arms. "There, all better! You look like you could use a tomato, let's go get some!" Antonio said, going to pick his boyfriend up, seeing that he probably couldn't walk due to the blood loss. But Lovnio stopped him.

"Why are you still here? Out of all the fucking people in the world, here you are. Why would you love someone who cuts, scratches, and has panic attacks for no damn reason? I'm rude, I cuss a lot, and I'm just not worth it." Antonio felt his heart break and sink at the same time at the seriousness of Lovnio's words. Oh if only his Lovi could see how special he is. He had to find a way to get through to his boyfriend, and make him understand, if only a little. Antonio thought for a moment, when an amazing idea popped into his head. He grinned, and picked Lovnio up bridal style. "Damn it Antonio! Just because your taller than me, doesn't mean you can fucking pick me up!" The Spaniard ignored Lovino's struggling, and carried him to the couch in the living room.

Antonio got out his guitar, and started to tune it. Lovnio fell silent, curious but happy that his boyfriend was going to play his guitar. It was a beautiful instrument, one that Antonio has had since his freshman year in high-school. It had a lot of memories tied to it. When the strings sounded right, Lovnio internally smiled, he loved hearing Antonio play the guitar. The Spaniard smiled, before playing the first few notes, than sang with the guitar. "Made a wrong turn, once or twice. Dug our way out, blood and fire. Bad decisions, that's alright." Antonio shrugged, as it agreeing with the song. "You welcomed me into, your silly life. Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood. Miss 'no way it's all good' it didn't slow you down." Lovnio listened, stunned at the emotion put into the entire song.

"Miss-taken, always second-guessing, underestimated, look you're still around." Antonio stopped smiling, his eyes turning desperate, begging for his boyfriend to understand. "Pretty pretty please! Don't you ever, ever feel, like your less than, less than perfect." 'What? I'm not perfect damn it, and I never will be' Lovnio thought to himself, looking down from Antonio's gaze. The Spaniard could see that his boyfriend was doubting himself, and put more power into his voice. "Pretty pretty please! If you ever, ever feel, like you're nothing. You are perfect to me." Lovino looked up to find Antonio smiling softly at him before continuing.

"You're so mean, when you talk. About yourself, you were wrong!" Antonio nodded his head to Lovnio "Change the voices, in your head. Make them like you instead!" Lovnio saw Antonio put his guitar down, and was a bit upset. Until he saw Antonio kneel down in front of him, grab his hand, and continue. "So complicated, look how big you'll make it! Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game." Lovnio was still speechless, and even though he wanted to say something, he couldn't. "It's enough, I've done all I can think of. I've chase down all my demos, I've seen you do the same." Antonio locked his eyes with Lovnio's, and sang with desperation that his best friend, Francis, would be proud of. "Pretty pretty please! Don't you ever, ever feel, like you're less than, less than perfect!" Lovino's eyes widened, shocked at himself as he started to believe Antonio's words.

"Pretty pretty please! If you ever, ever feel, like you're nothing, you are perfect to me." Antonio stopped singing, and smiled softly at Lovnio's shocked face. Lovino bent his head down, and covered his curl. He didn't want Antonio to see his blush, or how tears had started to well up in his eyes, or how his curl had somehow managed to transform into a heart. The Spaniard's smile grew in size, and he tilted Lovnio's head up, seeing the tears. He frowned, and wiped away the tears, grabing his other hand, and seeing the heart-shaped curl. "That's why I'm still here, that's why I love you. Yes you cuss, and yes you self-harm, but that's just a part of who you are. I love all of you, your imperfections, your smile, even though you rarely use it. Your hazel eyes that are so beautiful that I ould get lost in them for hours. The way you always manage to surprise me, in a good way, how you trust me, but most of all, because you are you. I wouldn't want anyone else, not Feliciano, not Bella, just you." Lovino wiped away the tears of joy falling from his eyes, and couldn't help but smile.

Antonio felt his heart stop like it always does when he sees Lovnio smiles. He stood up from the ground, and sat down next to Lovnio. They both leaned closer, until finally their lips lightly met in a soft, but passionate kiss. After a few minutes of nothing short of bliss, they broke apart. "You know, I'm not that amazing basterd." Lovino said, breaking the silence. Antonio smiled, and held his boyfriend against his chest, whispering "To me you are. Te amo Lovi." The said Italian snuggled into the Spaniard's chest, and whispered back "Ti amo troppo Tonio" To some people, their relationship looked insane, and in a way, it was. But to them, the one word to describe what they had was perfection. There will be times, when Lovnio breaks down, and Antonio will have to pick back up the pieces. But that could wait, for right now, they were content to lie in each other's arms, and take a siesta.

**AN: wow that took a long time editing, but it was worth it :) so yes, I did change some of the lyrics in the song, and if you want to listen to the guy I like who played the guitar for this song, look this up on Youtube: Perfect by pink guitar cover. Scroll down until you find a youtuber named Kevin Ha. That is what I had in my head for this song! on a sadder note, guys, if you ever feel like your wanting to self-harm, or you do already, please talk to someone. Hell, you can message me if you want, and I'll listen! By the way, yes, scratching and biting are forms of self-harm. My best friend bites his legs and arms until they bleed, and it breaks my heart. If you know someone who does, talk to them, or just listen, you'll be helping more then you think you are. Anyway, I've got to go to bed cause I have school tomorrow 'sighs' So, until the next story, Peace!**

**HetaliaAndSpamanoFangirl**


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